Breathe Again
by sarabeth1
Summary: Donald Ressler has decided it's time to leave the task force and move on when Reddington pulls him in to protection detail for Liz when her wedding day doesn't go as planned. When Liz's world falls apart Ressler is there to help her. *Character Death*
1. Part 1

A/N: This is a two part sort of Keenler story. I left it open so that if I have the time and there is interest I could continue it as a Multi-Chap possibly. Liz's world gets torn apart and Ressler is there to help. *Character Death*

* * *

 **PART 1**

"I don't know what to do man," Ressler said as he stared in to the bottom of his coffee cup.

He looked across the table at his NA sponsor. A man named Steve. Steve was a former Metro DC Detective until his addiction ended his career. Learning and leaning on Steve had proved to be a life and career saver for him so far. Steve knew what it was like to have a job like his and face addiction.

"You don't trust your partner. You don't trust your team," Steve said softly. "You rely on them day to day to watch your back. Do you trust them to do that?"

"She wouldn't let me get shot. But, I don't know. I feel like it's me against all of them. I try, Steve. I screwed up that night with her. And I fired her but not because of that night. She betrayed my trust. So, why am I always the ass? She's constantly getting in her little digs."

"Donnie, I think you know what you need to do." Steve lifted his cup to his lips.

"It's what I worked for and it's all going to hell."

"And pushing you to the brink of using again. What's more important?"

IIIIIIII

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Cooper questioned as he reviewed the paperwork.

"Positive. I'm taking a leave and when the two weeks are over I'd hope a transfer is set?" Ressler hung back by the door. "And I'd rather we keep this between the two of us."

"Of course. You've been an exemplary agent. You'll be missed." Cooper stood up to shake Ressler's hand.

"No. I won't be. And I haven't been. I had a perfect record before this task force. I've compromised myself too often and for what? I don't like the man I'm becoming and I need to move on." He shook Cooper's hand then added with a smile. "It was a privilege to work with you, sir"

Ressler wandered down the stairs only to see Samar and Aram talking by Aram's desk. He felt bad for Aram. He was obviously in love with Samar and it was obvious she knew and was using it to whatever advantage she could. He was also beyond pissed off at Aram for forcing an apology out of him while he had less than a minute to diffuse a damn bomb. His life was not worth an apology, that to be honest, he didn't even really mean. She was being bitch. And had been for a while.

He turned his gaze from the pair and entered his office. Liz had gone home for the day. She would wonder where he was but she was busy with the baby and Tom so he doubted she'd worry much. Samar would be relieved as would Aram. This was for the best. Now, all he had to do was organize his finished files and once he was sure the building was empty of anyone of importance he'd clear up his few personal belongings. Then close this chapter on his life.

"Did you put in your report that Aram withheld information regarding the bomb?"

"No." Ressler rolled his eyes but refused to look up. "I should have. That was reckless and stupid. Anything could have gone wrong. We could have died because he had to defend your honor."

"You're an ass, you know that?" Samar snapped at him.

"And this is our problem." Ressler stood up. Screw it. After this he'd never see again. What did it matter? "You. You need to learn to keep your personal feelings aside from the professional. You don't like me. Fine. But you don't get to constantly disrespect me. In front of people on a near daily basis."

"You fucked me and fired me!"

"Is it that we slept together or that I fired you that has you so pissed off, Navabi? Because as I recall it was a mutual thing that night. I didn't force it. I didn't use my position to influence you. And I wouldn't have fired you if you hadn't aided a felon." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I was honest with you about how I felt. I don't know where your allegiance falls. Is it the task force or Reddington? Or something completely different? I trusted you. I respected you."

"Oh, come off it. You are no better than I am. All the rules you broke for her. You almost got me killed because of her."

"I let her go, yes. If I hadn't Tom Connolly would be alive. I live with that every day. But, that is the only rule I broke. I worked around what I had to to keep her safe." He rubbed the back of his neck. "And come on, I had that scene under control. I'm not some incompetent gun wielding fool. I could take that shot with my eyes closed. I would never have risked your life. I saw his face, you didn't. He wasn't going to hesitate to put you down."

Samar had her arms crossed. "I could get you fired for sleeping with me."

"Go ahead. I'm over it. Act the martyr. I've tried. I'm done." Ressler grabbed his jacket. No longer caring about what little he had in his desk. "Just stop stringing Aram along. It's tacky."

And with that he waltzed by her and towards the elevator. He was mad. At Samar. At himself. At Reddington. At the FBI. At Liz. At the world. His hands were shaking and all he wanted was to get a release from the rage boiling inside of him. Thankfully, his bags were packed and all he had to do was stop at the store before he was out of the city and in the country. At his cabin. Where he could be away from everything and everyone.

IIIIIIIII

She looked around their office. It was now 10 am and Ressler hadn't been in yet. It wasn't like him. She knew they weren't as close as they used to be. He was distant and she hadn't made a real attempt to fix it. She was selfish. She had her baby and now Tom to think about but this wasn't right. Ressler was never this late. Samar walked by and she called out to her.

"Did Ressler call off or something?" she asked. "This isn't like him," she added.

"You don't know him at all," Samar grumbled before walking away.

Liz just watched as Samar walked away. Something had been different between them as well. Actually, the whole team was different. She assumed it was her return but now maybe thinking on it there was more. But, that was for another time. Now, she wanted to make sure Ressler was fine. He still hadn't responded to her text earlier in the day and when she called him it went straight to voicemail. She saw Red and Dembe going up the stairs and quickly followed.

"Something is wrong with Ressler," Liz said right before they entered the office.

"I know, Lizzie. I'm here to find out what." Red waltzed in to Cooper's office without being invited and took a seat. "Harold, seems Agent Ressler is a no show today. And he's not at his apartment and my people cannot locate a signal on his cell phone."

"Do you have someone watching him?" Liz hissed. It was only 10 am. There was no reason why Red would know any of this.

"I do." Red turned to Cooper. "He never came home last night."

"Maybe he had a date?" Cooper responded.

"Oh, Harold. That's funny." Red laughed then quickly turned serious. "He either left the task force or was fired. I'll walk away if you don't bring him back in to the fold. It's no fun without him. What would I do with all my jokes?"

Liz glanced between Red and Cooper. She never once thought Ressler had left and Red jumping to that conclusion so quickly made her wonder what he knew that she didn't.

"It was his choice. He asked to be transferred out and requested that I not tell anyone until his two week leave was up. He has that right." Cooper took is glasses off and pinched the bridge of his noise. "Things haven't been easy around here lately. If leaving is what is best for him who are we to force him back?"

Liz felt her heart drop and closed her eyes. He left. He left and didn't tell her. After everything they had been through and he just abandoned her. Ressler fought so hard for her and now he just walked away. Her hurt was quickly turning to anger. Who the hell did he think he was?

"Thank you, sir. I'm sure we'll all get along just fine without him."

She slowly got out of her chair and wandered down to the war room where Samar and Aram were watching her. She felt like she was in a daze. He was gone. She found herself standing in front of Samar. She opened and closed her mouth a few time unable to speak before Aram finally asked her if anything was wrong.

"Ressler. He's…he quit. He's gone," she finally managed. She didn't miss the quick smile that fell on Samar's mouth before she set it straight. "Did he say anything to either of you?"

"No. But it's better this way. He is reckless and one day will get somebody killed," Samar snapped.

"Excuse me?" Liz reeled back.

"He knew he couldn't hack it anymore, Liz. We will be fine without him." And with that Samar stormed away.

"I'm sorry, Liz. I know you two were close." Aram looked down his keyboard.

Liz just slowly shook her head and walked back to her desk. She really didn't need to be there but she was planning on telling her co-workers about her marriage to Tom. She already told Cooper but wanted to tell Ressler before anyone else. They were going to have a small wedding but she wanted all her friends there. She had a feeling that Ressler would refuse but he still deserved to hear it from her and not from Samar like he found out about the baby adoption. She reached down for her bag and decided she'd come back in and tell Samar and Aram.

IIIIIIII

He almost forgot how much he loved the fresh air and quiet out at the cabin. The simplicity of it all. No TV, only movies to watch if he was so inclined. Books. Nature. Guns to shoot. Wood to chop. Nothing to worry about. Yet, as he split another log for the fire he couldn't help but worry about how Keen was. He swore he wouldn't think about her anymore. She had her new life and he wasn't part of that. He couldn't support her being with Tom Keen and he couldn't tell her that and hurt her. So, this was best.

The task force took more away from him than it ever gave. He nearly died while protecting Reddington. He was given another shot at love with Audrey only to have her ripped away. And he pushed his best friend in to suicide. He felt Meera's life slip from his hands as he tried to stop her bleeding. He watched as a shadow government tried to frame someone who more or less was his only friend and nearly lost her. He lost all faith in the system he once followed blindly. Perhaps it was time for a career change.

"You are too predictable, Donald."

Not dropping the ax, he slowly turned to find Reddington and Dembe next to their car that he had somehow not heard pull up.

"I'm not even gonna ask." He turned around and threw the ax in to the tree stump and gathered a few logs and wordlessly walked in to the cabin.

"For being on a federal pay check you do have a nice place out here," Red said as he entered the decent sized cabin.

"My father left it for me. His father gave it to him. But, I think you already know that." Ressler dropped the logs by the fire and stood with his arms crossed. "Why are you here?"

"You left the task force. There are few people I trust to work with. Those on your team happen to be part of that list. I do not want a new agent to take your place."

"I'm not coming back. I'm done."

"Well, then. I'd like to offer you a job. Private security." Red took a seat in the leather chair closest to the fire.

Ressler laughed and nodded to Dembe. "Isn't that what he is for?"  
"Oh, not for me. No, God no." Red chuckled then turned serious. "For Lizzie."

Ressler shook his head. Why would he be needed for security when Tom was more than

capable of protecting her. Something was going on and Ressler felt uneasy about it now. He took a seat on the couch across from Red and nodded for him to continue.

"I have enemies. Tom has enemies. People are still after Lizzie. She isn't safe." He closed his eyes. "It's all going to come to a head this weekend. There's nothing I can do to stop it but I can make sure she's safe."

"What's happening this weekend?"

"The not so blessed union of Elizabeth and Tom."

Ressler felt his heart drop. Hard. On the floor. Liz was marrying Tom. He was crushed and wouldn't admit the real reason why. Tom would only bring heartbreak. She was already forever linked to him by the baby but now she was marrying him. He heard Red tell Dembe to get them both a drink and soon he found a bourbon in his hand.

"I don't know what I'm needed for," he said finally after taking a sip.

"Talk around town is that his old boss is now working for the Cabal and he'd love nothing more than to take out Tom and any remaining link. That includes Elizabeth's child. I have a source who saw Matias Solomon and The Major at a meeting. This wedding is the perfect opportunity. If I can't get her to stop it I'll damn well keep her safe. Anyone else stupid enough to be there is on their own."

Ressler stared in to his glass. "What do you need to me do?"

"Just be on standby. You'll escort Liz to a safe house if it all comes to blows. No one will expect you." Red pulled an envelope out of his jacket and reached out to Ressler. "First part of your payment."

"I'm not taking your money. I'll do this. For her. And her child."

Reddington leaned back and smiled. Smug bastard. He knew Ressler would agree all along because when had he not done everything in his power to keep Liz safe.

IIIIIIIII

He sat behind the wheel of one of Reddington's SUVs. Black. Blackened windows. Bulletproof. He watched from a distance as Liz and Samar entered the church. Then Tom, Aram and Cooper. A few people he didn't know but assumed belonged to the small church had entered. Ressler was keeping his eyes out for anything out of the ordinary when Reddington arrived and entered the church. A few minutes later he exited and Dembe and Baz along with a few other men began taking a perimeter around the church.

His orders where to stay with the car until it came time to extract Liz. He needed to stay out of sight. If the Cabal attacked and saw him there his chances of protecting Liz were slim. He'd be on their radar. Then, like Red said it might happen, it did. Just like at the cabin with Tom and Karakurt men began to creep in from the shadows and soon one of Red's men were down. Red and Dembe ran in to the church and all Ressler could do was watch the battle from a distance.

"Come around the back, now," he heard Dembe's voice in his ear.

Ressler sped the SUV around the back and of the church, with his own weapon drawn and watching the area he waited. Soon, Dembe came rushing out with someone tucked under his arms. He unlocked the back door and the moment she was in he locked it again so she couldn't try to get out and sped away. Soon two identical SUVs were pulling up behind him as was part of the plan.

"Let me out! You can't do this!" Liz screamed as the SUV bounced on the now uneven ground.

"Buckle up. It's going to be fine," Ressler spoke from the front.

"Ress? What the hell? You are working with Red? Let me out. They are hurt. Aram got shot. And they are going to kill Tom."

"They were going to kill you. Because of Red and Tom. I'm not letting that happen. Trust me. For once. Trust me." He allowed one SUV to pull in front of him and they entered a busy road.

"Where are you taking me?" Liz buckled in.

"Somewhere safe. When Red has neutralized the threat we'll reunite you with Tom."

Liz laughed bitterly. "You think Red cares about Tom? About us? No. If you believed that you are a fool."

Ressler peaked in the rearview mirror and didn't see a tail at all. Didn't mean there wasn't one. They were nearing the separation point so he played a game of crisscross with the other two drivers to confuse anyone who may be following them. Then it was time to take the turn down the busy street that lead to numerous warehouses. He saw the one he wanted and turned in to the garage as the door was dropped down behind him. As he pulled up he noticed a small framed woman with short hair.

"Mr. Kaplan?" Liz said from the backseat. "Ress, please if you guys are going to take me away just…I love him. I do."

He shook his head. She had no faith in him, after all that. "I promise you once we are safe and secure Tom will be brought to you." He unlocked the doors and excited. "You must be Mr. Kaplan?" he asked as he stretched out his hand. "Liz said Agent Mojtabai was injured. Any word?"

"Don't worry about your friend. Raymond will make sure he is taken care of. For now, let's get you and Elizabeth out of here." She pulled a sheet off a black sedan and handed Ressler a bag. "Clothes for Elizabeth."

"Liz?" Ressler called. He handed her the bag. "Get changed. We have to move."

Liz huffed but took the bag and walked off to an area with more privacy. Ressler turned to Mr. Kaplan to discuss their plans. Someone would destroy the SUV while Ressler took Liz in the Sedan out to a remote cabin. Reddington, being the ever prepared man that he was, found a cabin that had a storm shelter. It was one that he used as a contingency plan. According to Reddington, the shelter beneath the cabin was stocked and ready. All he had to do was keep Liz down there and safe. And should she need medical attention he had a team in place nearby.

"Raymond is concerned what the stress of all this will do to the baby. So, the shelter has anything that may be needed for the mobile team. You just call this number and they will be there. If all goes as planned she won't be there long."

"You promise I'll see Tom again?" Liz asked once she came out changed in jeans and a t-shirt. Mr. Kaplan handed her a jacket and she nodded her thanks.

"Yes, I promise. Now, can we go?"

Liz just slipped in to the car without a word. Ressler nodded to Mr. Kaplan before entering the car and speeding off. He hoped they wouldn't need the mobile team. He hoped Red would have this all over by the morning. The ride out of the city and in to the country had been quiet. He pulled up next to a creek a ways away from the cabin and instructed Liz that they would be going the rest of the way on the ATV he had uncovered from the brush. It was a chilly ride up to the cabin so he ushered Liz in before heading back out to hide the ATV.

"I'm just going to go find a bed and sleep," she said quietly.

"Not yet," Ressler said. He looked around and found the rocking chair in the corner of the room. He moved it out of the way and pulled the area rug off it. When he pulled open the door in the floor he heard Liz gasp. "Always prepared. I'm sorry but he wants you down here."

IIIIIIII

Ressler and Liz had been at the cabin for a few hours now with no word. He left the door open to the shelter below but Liz had been relatively quiet. He heard noise outside and without a word slammed the door shut and replaced the carpet. He then grabbed his gun and peaked out the window. He didn't see anyone but he sure heard them. Then he heard the voice.

"It's Tom," came the voice from the front door. "Let me in."

Ressler cursed. A bit of a notice would have been wonderful. And he was really surprised Reddington offered up the location to Tom. He opened the door and saw a very ragged looking man. "Where you followed?"

"No. I want to see Liz," Tom demanded.

"Aram. How's Aram?"

"He'll be fine. Cooper and Samar as well."

Ressler sighed in relief. He opened the hidden door and called down to Liz. He pointed to the opening for Tom then once he was down there he shut the door. He had no intention or desire in hearing them talk about how worried they were about each other. He set the rocking chair over the door and sat. And waited. A few hours later and still no word from Reddington he heard pounding on the door below.

"What's wrong?" Ressler asked as he opened the door to reveal a panicked Tom looking up at him.

"She's in labor. We have to get her to a hospital."

"No. The hospital will come here," Ressler stated. "Go back down there and keep her calm. I'll take care of it." And without another word he shut the door. He pulled out his phone and sent the message to the mobile unit. He had a confirmation of an eta of 10 minutes.

Ressler waited by the door. Sure enough, 10 minutes later and at the door was a man with greying hair and two women were facing him. The man introduced himself as Dr. Nik and nurses Maria and Julie. Ressler did a quick pat down of all three then ushered them down the shelter. He found Liz laying on the cot with Tom by her side. He gave her a smile before going upstairs to keep watch. The stakes just got higher.


	2. Part 2

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed/followed/favorited. Here is the final bit. I've left it open in case I decide or enough people want to see more of Ressler and Liz fitting in to their new roles. Enjoy and let me know what you think :)

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Breathe Again: Part 2

IIIIIIII

Ressler sat at the top of the stairs, with the door open so he could keep an eye on things on all fronts. It had been a few hours and just as he was getting annoyed at the lack of contact from Reddington, his phone rang.

"Donald, is she alright? You called Dr. Nik?" Reddington said on the other end.

"She's in labor, so about as alright as you can be for that." Ressler peaked down the stairs and heard a scream then grimaced. "Is it over?"

"Far from it. We are on our way to you. I'm afraid they've found you. Did you check the medical team?"

"Yes." Ressler was trying not to get too worried despite the odds he now faced. He couldn't move Liz and he had no assistance. He couldn't make a stand. Last time he nearly died when Solomon attacked a cabin he was in. "I'll keep them locked downstairs and safe." He quickly hung up then ran down the stairs. Just in time to see the most miraculous thing happen.

"One more push, Liz. You're doing great," Dr. Nik coached.

Tom was at her head cheering her on. Ressler moved so he was no longer at an angle to see more of his former partner than he needed to then waited. As predicted, that last push was all it took for the room to be filled with the sounds of a baby crying. Ressler couldn't help but smile at the look of joy on Liz's face as she was handed the baby. And Tom had a tear in his eye. Ressler felt like an intruder in this intimate moment. A moment that should have taken place at a hospital and not some secluded cabin with killers on their way.

"He's perfect," Liz said softly.

"Good job, babe." Tom kissed Liz on the forehead then kissed the baby before noticing Ressler. "One minute," he said softly.

"Solomon. He found us somehow. I hate to ask…considering if I were in your shoes I'd want to be with them. But, I need you. Upstairs." Ressler truly did hate taking Tom away from his kid and Liz but they needed him upstairs more. If they were going to get out of this alive he needed all hands on deck.

"Yeah. Give me a minute with Liz and I'll be up." Tom walked back to Liz where he began to whisper.

"You," Ressler pointed to Dr. Nik. "We got problems up ahead." He handed Nik a gun. "You know how to work this?"

"Yes."

"Good. Someone comes down that hall that isn't with me, Tom or Reddington and you shoot. To kill." Ressler looked over to the nurses. "Can I trust them?"

"I don't know. They were chosen and not by me. I know what needs done. Go. I'll keep her safe."

Ressler ran back up the stairs and went to the gun cabinet. Pulling various pistols and shot guns out and making sure they were loaded when Tom appeared. He closed the door and pulled the rug over it then placed the chair back in its place. No words were exchanged as they prepared for battle. Each man chose their weapons and took a position in the cabin.

Tom was by the door and when the first shots rang they both unleashed on the enemy. There was a calmness after a few minutes so Tom decided to sneak outside. Ressler cursed under his breath when Tom was no longer visible. He heard some more shots ring out but from a different direction and saw Dembe and Baz coming up. Tom was still nowhere to be found.

"I'm going after Keen," he said as he ran to the direction Tom was at.

He didn't have far to go. Jacob was pinned down behind a tree and he could see Solomon directly across from him waiting for his shot. Ressler tried to sneak his way to Tom but Solomon saw him and fired on him. Thankfully, Tom laid down cover fire and Solomon was forced behind a tree of his own. When he reached Tom he knew this wasn't good. He was already bleeding from a stomach wound.

"Take him out, use me as bait. Just take him out." Tom managed to say between the waves of pain.

"And have Liz kill me for getting you killed? No thanks." Ressler peaked his head out and dodged a bullet. Dembe or Baz should be out here soon. "Just hold on ok?"

"You have your phone?"

"Yeah." Ressler pulled it out and handed it to Tom. He shut his eyes tightly once the other man held the phone up and began speaking. He was making a video message. The son of bitch was going to try to sacrifice himself for Liz. Ressler allowed him to continue but once done he snatched his phone back. "She'll never see it because you aren't dying today."

"The hell you know?" Tom mumbled as he stood up and tried to move around Ressler. When he was pulled back down he landed a punch to Ressler's face and side. "Let me do this!" He yelled.

Ressler was stunned and it was just enough that he could only watch as Tom moved from the tree and called out Solomon. That sick bastard waltzed up to Tom who had his hands up in surrender and fired off two shots. He watched Tom stumble then pull a gun from behind his waistband and managed to fire off a shot that sent Solomon falling back before he himself fell to the ground. Ressler was up before both men fell and had advanced on Solomon.

"You going to finish the job? You don't have it in you," Solomon taunted.

"The hell I don't," Ressler stated calmly. He knew in that moment there was no one to talk him down. Solomon shot, to his knowledge, an unarmed man and the same fate was probably in store for Liz and the baby. There was no way he was coming out of this alive. Ressler was about to cross a line he'd never come back from. With one pull of his trigger the life left Solomon's eyes.

He heard noise behind him and saw Tom holding his chest. There were now two more wounds to his torso. Wounds he wouldn't survive. Ressler dropped his gun and was at Tom's side. He never liked the man but he didn't deserve this. He deserved to be with his child and Liz. In vain, Ressler applied pressure to one of the wounds.

"Ever the boyscout. You can't save me. That first shot was going to kill me. We both know that." Tom grabbed Ressler's sleeve. "Keep them safe. Promise. Keep them safe."

"I promise."

"I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Things I regret. This. I would give my life over a hundred times for theirs."

Ressler understood. He would have given his life for Audrey's. He would have given his life for Liz and that child. He respected Tom in that moment for what he had done to protect his family. Tom tried to speak again but one more breath and he fell limp in Ressler's arms. Despite it being futile, Ressler began CPR. He knew Tom was gone. But, he had to try. How did he face Liz without trying?

"You don't get to die, you son of bitch. You don't die," he yelled as he began compressions. It wasn't until he felt strong arms on him and he looked up to see Reddington and Dembe did he stop. "He's gone. Shit. How do I tell Liz he's gone?"

"You'll find a way," Reddington said softly. "Dembe, bring him back with us but place him in the van. Lizzie does not need to see him just yet."

Ressler slowly followed Reddington back to the cabin. The nurses were being escorted out by Baz. When he entered the cabin he found a bedroom door open and Liz laying in the bed. It felt like minutes ago since he watched her give birth but now here she was. Cleaned up and smiling down at her son. Dr. Nik sat in a chair next to her and he saw Ressler first. He slowly got up and shut the door.

"You need to clean yourself up before she sees you," Nik said. "I don't see Tom. He didn't make it?"

"No." Ressler was surprised when Nik cursed.

"Clean yourself up. I'll take the baby while you talk to her," Nik offered. He waited while Ressler walked in to the kitchen and washed his hands and face. And grabbed a clean shirt out of the bag that was on the floor. "I'm her ex by the way. Small world I know."

"Not with Reddington, it isn't." Ressler followed Nik in to the room. Liz smiled for a moment, probably thinking he was Tom, then frowned. She began to get upset when Nik gently took the baby and stepped outside. "Liz, I don't know how to…," he trailed off.

"Where's Tom?" she asked.

"He's gone."

"Liar," she hissed. "Where is he?"

"He went after Solomon. I tried to stop him." He touched his face where Tom had punched him and wondered if there was bruise.

"You didn't try hard enough did you?" She was fighting the tears. "Dammit Ressler, you didn't try hard enough."

"I tried. He was protecting you. You and the baby."

"Did you kill him?"

"Yes," Ressler said without a bit of remorse. "He'd dead."

"Good," Liz whispered. She looked up at Ressler with tears streaming down her face. "You tried. Didn't you?" her lip was quivering.

"I tried, Liz. I really tried." Ressler moved to sit next to her in the bed. "I know we had our differences, but I'm so sorry."

She threw herself in to his arms and sobbed. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore and fell asleep.

IIIIIIII

The sun was out the day of Tom Keen's funeral. Reddington had security all over the cemetery and only a few people attended anyway. Ressler sat next to Liz. The baby next to him asleep in his carrier. Cooper, Samar and Aram were the others in attendance. The ceremony was short and Liz just stared at his casket. When the baby cried she made no move to tend to him. Ressler had grown accustomed to that in the last few days. She was withdrawn and depressed and he was left to care for her son.

"Jake needs you, Liz," he said softly.

"There's a bottle in the bag," was her response.

Ressler frowned. The ceremony was ending and Reddington had come up to Liz. It was too chilly to take baby Jake out of his carrier to feed him so he walked to the car that was warmed and waiting. Dembe behind the wheel. He nodded to the other man then took the baby out and began to feed him his bottle.

"It's a good thing you are doing," Dembe said from the front seat.

"Being his nanny?" Ressler joked.

"Being her rock. She needs you. The baby needs you."

"What he needs is his father." Ressler frowned as he looked down to baby Jake. "She needs his father."

Jake and Ressler had gotten in to a routine. In just the few short days he had been here Ressler had been his main caretaker. Reddington tried to bring a nanny in but Liz refused to allow anyone but Ressler around the baby. Which was nuts considering he had no clue how to care for him. Liz shut herself her in her bedroom and had only recently surfaced for the funeral. Thankfully, Red had a nanny show Ressler a thing or two. They weren't sure if she was depressed over loosing Tom or if it was Post-Partum Depression. Whatever it was needed addressed. This wasn't healthy.

"Donald," he heard Reddington's voice as the door opened. "Elizabeth wanted some time alone up there. We'll give her a few minutes then if you wouldn't mind bringing her back."

"She needs help. This isn't healthy." He didn't take his eyes off the baby.

"And we'll get it for her. Right now, I need you to keep that boy safe and provided for and be there for Elizabeth."

IIIII

Ressler buttered some toast and poured a cup of tea as Jake slept in his basinet. He wanted to pick up his pillow and blanket before Liz woke up. It had been a month since she gave birth to Jake and that Tom died. He had spent every night on her couch since then. Red had convinced him to take a permanent position on his team after much thought. He promised he would never compromise Ressler's integrity and would not have him involved in any illegal doings if he could help it but that he needed extra protection for Liz and Jake. Ressler really could never say no if it involved Elizabeth Keen.

"Are you ever going back to work? Aren't you supposed to be working a new unit?" she grumbled as she shuffled through the living room to the kitchen. Like every day she took the toast and tea and shuffled back to the living room. She pushed his pillow and blanket out of the way and curled in to the couch. "Did he sleep well?" she asked looking over to the baby.

"About as well as he sleeps any other night," he chuckled. Which meant Ressler was up with him once or twice. "And about work." He came in to sit across from her on the coffee table. "I need to talk to you about that."

"You going back to the Task Force?" her face held a hopeful expression.

"I turned in my badge and gun after the funeral," he offered and waited for her reaction.

"No." She shook her head. "You didn't."

"I did."

"He got to you. He owns you. That's why you haven't left. Why you are here every day." She stiffened.

His heart broke just a little. She thought that about him? That he was only there for her because of Reddington? "No. I'm here because my best and only friend needs someone. That baby needs someone." He reached out and gently took her chin in his hand. "You are going through something. I was there but I didn't have a child to take care of. You feel like the world collapsed around you? All happiness is gone and to be happy is a slap in his face?"

"You had your work to distract you. I have nothing!" she hissed and pulled her face away.

"You have that baby boy. He needs you. I'm a poor stand in. Tom didn't want this for you."

Maybe now was the time. He hadn't shown her the video Tom left for her. The timing was never right. Perhaps she needed to see it now so she could see he wouldn't want her to be like this. He wanted her to live her life. To move on. Ressler slowly pulled his phone out and pulled up the video.

"I didn't show you this sooner because I didn't think you were ready." He handed her the phone. "He wanted to say goodbye. He knew he wasn't going to make it and he drew Solomon out so I could take him out to keep you safe."

He moved away to give her some space. He wandered in to the kitchen and leaned against the counter and waited.

IIIIII

Liz's hands trembled as she held Ressler's phone. She didn't want to see this. To see Tom in his last moments. She wanted to feel nothing. But, she hit play and was greeted with his face. Pained and white. His breathing was labored.

"Hey babe," he said softly. "I'm sorry. For everything. I thought we could get a happy ending together, you, me and the baby. You'll get your happy ending with him. And, me…," he took a ragged breath. "I'll have mine knowing I kept you safe in the end."

"Shut up man, you aren't dying," Ressler could be heard in the background.

Tom rolled his eyes. "There's your one man justice league, babe. He's here. I won't be alone. Shame it's him though," he chuckled then coughed. "He's not as bad as I thought. He'll keep you and the baby safe. I know that. I need you to live, babe. Live a life that you always dreamed with our son. Tell him about our good times. Tell him I love him more than anything. I love you so much and I don't want to leave you but I'm not scared to die. I'm scared of leaving you alone." He blew her a kiss. "Name him something cool. Not Raymond." He cracked a smile. "I love you."

She gasped as the video ending. No. She needed more of him. That couldn't be it. No. No. No. She played it one more time and allowed her tears to fall. When she was done she set the phone down and called Ressler over. He took his seat across from her and put his hands on his thighs.

"What happened after that? I know you killed Solomon. But…," she trailed off.

"I tried to stop him. He was determined. He moved in to the clearing and Solomon came out. He thought…and I thought…Tom was unarmed. But he managed one shot with a gun he had in the small of his back. I came and finished it. He was going to come for you and Jake. That wasn't going to happen."

"Was Tom…dead then?"

"No." He shook his head and smiled sadly. "He only thought of you and Jake. Made me promise to keep you safe. And said he would do the same again if it meant protecting you. I'm sorry, Liz. I really am. I wouldn't wish what you are going through on anyone."

She reached out for his hands then pulled herself into his arms. She was ready. She was ready to feel. To grieve. She had kept it all bottled inside and the dam broke. She cried an ugly, heartbreaking cry as Ressler held her in his arms. She heard Jake cry and felt Ressler pull away. She was still crying when a few minutes later he came back and held her. She lost track of how long he cried for eventually just gave in and fell asleep in his arms. Dreaming for the first time of a happy Tom. Not a bloody and shot up Tom.

IIIIIIII

"Hey, Jake." Ressler plucked the boy out his mother's arms. He was getting big. He was 6 months now and looked a lot like Liz, but Tom peeked out in little areas. "Hello, Liz."

"Ress," she smiled as she threw her coat on. "Are you on mommy and baby duty today? Reddington doesn't have you doing anything exciting today?"

"You miss me?" He teased and grabbed the diaper bag. "I was only gone a week."  
"A week in Paris! That's not fair at all."

Ressler laughed as he led Liz down the hall and out the apartment complex. He had been in Paris with Reddington and Dembe as extra security. Red had promised it wasn't for business, but pleasure as he needed a retreat. Ressler was pretty sure it was to see how well he and Dembe worked together and it wouldn't be long before Red tried to get him to bend his morals a bit.

"I missed you guys." He opened the car door for Liz and got Jake in his car seat. "Besides, I'm on Liz duty. I'm your personal security ma'am. I go where you go. And, today is your first day back at the Post Office."

"Yours too."

"Don't remind me. I'm not looking forward it." He rolled his eyes as he put the car in drive and headed to Jake's daycare to drop him off before they could go to the Post Office.

He had been cleared to be at the Post Office and it would be strange to be there in a different capacity. Reddington was nearing the end of his use for the Task Force but they weren't about to tell anyone else that. His usefulness to the FBI was what allowed him a lot of the leeway he had and until he had everything lined up he was still offering up Blacklisters . Liz was still an asset but they all knew she wanted more.

"So, I checked out the daycare before I left for Paris. Security is tight. I mean, Jake here will be napping next to Senator's kids and such. So, don't worry ok?" Ressler offered.

"I'm not." Liz smiled back at Jake. "Donnie is more worried than your momma is I think Jake," she said in a soft voice.

"We talked about the use of Donnie, Liz," Ressler warned.

"I'm not teaching my son to call you Ressler."

"He's the only one, got it?"

Liz nodded and they drove to the daycare in comfortable silence. It had been a long road to get Liz in to a place where she able to get back to work. After showing her Tom's video she agreed to go talk to someone. The therapy helped but not it was not immediate but when she was finally able to care for Jake on her own, Ressler found himself missing the late night snuggle sessions with the boy. Ressler was able to once again sleep in his own bed as Baz was just across the hall from Liz for security but now his job was to be her Dembe in a way. It wasn't what he envisioned and perhaps one day when the danger was over for Liz he would move on to something else. Private security perhaps. He missed the action of the Task Force but he'd learned too much of the corruption in the government to go back to working for them blindly.

"You coming?" Liz asked breaking him out of his thoughts.

He had driven them to the daycare and hadn't even realized he was parked. You wouldn't know it was a daycare from the outside of the building but inside it was a child's paradise.

"Yep. Let's get this guy settled."

Ressler followed inside and hung back enough to allow Liz to do this on her own. He shook his head at the security they had. Men, who he knew were security officers, dressed down in jeans, sneakers and t-shirt but the slight imprint of their concealed weapons were clear enough to him. Jake would be safe. And happy. He was still scanning the area when Liz called him over.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to him?"

"I'm not sure if that's protocol as your security," he said trying to be as professional as possible.

"Screw protocol. You are his family. Say goodbye. It's a big day," she chuckled as Jake's teacher came up holding him.

"Have a fun day, little man." He rubbed his head. "Don't be like you dad and get in to trouble ok?" he laughed and looked at Liz for a moment wondering if his bringing up Tom would hurt her. She was smiling.

Once back in the car she kept looking at him. "What?" he questioned.

"Thank you. You never liked Tom but you make sure to talk about him to Jake. To keep his memory alive. It means more than you'll know," she admitted.

"I lost my dad. I feel for him. He should know he had a dad who loved him. Who died to protect him. Doesn't matter my feelings for Tom. It's what Jake deserves."

And that was true. He never really liked Tom but in his death he found a respect for the man. He died to protect his family. In the end they were all that mattered. And for that, the least Ressler could do was honor his memory with his son.

They arrived at the Post Office and almost on instinct he tried to pull in his usual spot only to see it taken. He then wondered who took his spot on the Task Force. Reddington mentioned he had been replaced and the guy was just as boring as he had been. Ressler wasn't sure how to take that comment. They entered the elevator and when the door opened again they were greeted by Cooper.

"Keen. Ressler." He nodded to the two of them. "Reddington has a case for us?"

Keen and Ressler. No longer had agent attached. It sounded strange. He allowed Liz to walk ahead of him as he took his spot in the background. Watching her run the show, he tried to hide his smile. There were looks from his former colleagues to see him back and not in his suit. No. He was in jeans, button down shirt and black jacket. He kind of liked it. He didn't feel like the uptight agent he had been. It was liberating.

"On Red's payroll now?" Samar came up to him with a smirk.

"Until she and Jake are safe." He stole a look and waited for the snark.

"You brought her back. We were worried about her. But, you brought her back from it."

He knew what she was talking about. Liz brought herself back though. He just showed her how to. Now, she was back at work with her friends and a great mother to her son. She seemed to be settling in to this, now he just needed to learn to work in his old world with his new role.

"She brought herself back." He then turned to face her. "I've learned a few things about myself lately. And, I'm sorry."

"How bad did that hurt?" She laughed then saw the serious look on his face. "You get it now, don't you? That you have to look outside the box? See the world in gray?" He didn't answer. "I'm sorry too."

"We good?"

"We're good." She nodded to a guy in drab gray suit with perfect hair. "My new partner isn't a hot head like my old one. We kind of miss him around him."

Ressler just chuckled and followed Liz to a desk she had been provided. She didn't want to share their office with the new guy so she now had Samar's old desk while Samar and the new guy took the office. He didn't care to meet his replacement so he just took his place at the desk behind Liz and wondered how the hell Dembe put up with the boring bits of the job. Maybe doing a bit more for Reddington wouldn't be terrible.

"You good back there?" Liz looked back at him with raised eyebrows.

"Wake me up when it's time to go home ok?" He joked.

Ressler wasn't cut out for sitting on the sidelines. Maybe doing some extra work for Reddington could pass the time while Liz was safe and secure in the Post Office. So long as he wasn't killing people or anything else that was overly criminal. He shook his head at the thought of it all. This was definitely an interesting life choice and one he was kind of excited to see where it went. Today was the start of a new chapter for Donald Ressler.


End file.
